"Emotions have no place in business".
That is one of the most quoted business tips of all times. While we understand the logic, it's barely practical and hardly applicable. Humans, regardless of gender, have emotions. But, if you think about societies portrayal of successful business men, the only emotions they proudly display are anger, greed, and envy. You never see the iconic successful business man sadden by failure or isolated by embarrassment of that failure. Yet, studies show that well over 80% of entrepreneurs, regardless of gender, suffer from isolation which leads to depression and other issues.
We build our businesses to solve a problem, but also to live the type of lives we want while doing what we love. When you're passionate and invested in something, there's no such thing as NOT feeling the highs and lows. The wins can give you the type of confidence that will help you land your next big deal. And the losses, well they're just embarrassing. Sometimes so embarrassing that giving up seems like a more viable option than pivoting and learning from the experience.
Why? Because when you're an entrepreneur you're ultimately in the business of... you. The company you build and the problem(s) to which your business offers solutions is a reflection of the woman you are. Your values. Your ideals. Your integrity. Your priorities. This could explain why a majority of women identify with careers and build businesses in fields that allow them to care about and comfort other people. Even if that means not being listed in Forbes for being one of the most wealthy women in the world. For most of us, purpose is queen and we want to do what feels good.
While it's true that making decisions from a place of raw emotion should never be an option when referring to business matters. Making this quote one by which you live and run your business, doesn't leave much space for your humanity. It tells us that in order to be successful we must put down and hide our innate ability to feel and be connected to the world around us. That leaves no room for self-inquiry, understanding your emotions, and finding healthy ways to deal with them. They don't just disappear. Even when you're a boss.
Here's 3 ways to productively process your emotions in business:
1) Unpack it
This is a term therapists use to tell you to find the source. Get to the bottom of it. The 1st step in handling your emotions is to ask yourself, "Why do I really feel this way?" Maybe you're embarrassed because a deal you bragged about didn't go through. Or maybe an event you planned wasn't successful. That was what brought about the emotion. But the source of it could be...pride. Your ego is hurt because people know you didn't do as well as you thought. Maybe the source is anger. You're upset because none of the people who you thought would support you did. Find the source. Understand the emotion.
2) Take Accountability
One thing I've learned is that the victim mindset relinquishes your power. It makes you focus on what is being done TO YOU and not what you can do about it. So, the next step will be to figure out what you can do about the way you're feeling. Well, if you're embarrassed because a deal you bragged about didn't go through...less bragging - more work. If you're angry that those who you thought would support your event didn't...it's time to network and find others who will. There is power in accountability. Find the part you played - find your power to fix it. And then, do something you love to lift your spirits. Because you wouldn't know failure had you not tried.
3) Adjust
Now, it's time to plan for your next successful event or your next big deal. It was embarrassing, you were angry, it made you sad, and not only does it happen in business...it's life. And, it's a lesson that was necessary for growth. Not only your growth as a business woman, but your personal growth.
In closing, if you have a place in your business - your emotions have a place in your business because they are a part of you.
Don't let them run your business, but never run from them. Wellness 1st!
