Boundaries.

boundaries should make it safe to require what they need and nothing less from those they give their time, love, and attention to That has made us create walls and barriers which are different from healthy boundaries that not only keep unworthy people out, but allow the right people in. Let's acknowledge the fact that distinguishing between and healthy boundaries based on what we need from the world around us to be able to continue to give them access to our power, love and light. Getting to the purest form of you and asking yourself what you need to feel safe, to feel loved, to feel valued, and then demanding that you receive that from everyone in your life. It may get lonely. But don't you dare fill the empty spaces with people and scenarios that don't serve and/or deserve you. Instead. Use this time to figure out what you want and need to be the very best version of you. And require that not only from romantic partners and friends abut professional relationships as well. We deserve to have boundaries that are respected and not misconstrued as arrogance because we have been seen as less than for centuries. Boundaries.

In a world that often demands sacrifice and resilience from Black women, the concept of establishing healthy boundaries might seem like an unfamiliar territory. We have often been placed in the role of the strong and nurturing caregiver, leaving little room for safe places, vulnerability or our personal needs. Generations of societal conditioning have led many of us to accommodate, ride or die, sacrifice, and put others before ourselves. However, there's a transformative shift happening—one that emphasizes the importance of creating boundaries that prioritize well-being, self-love, and empowerment. . We have been taught to accommodate, ride and die, or otherwise sacrifice ourselves and as a reward we receive the recognition of our strength but rarely do we see the love we hoped to receive as we endured.

Recognizing the difference between trauma-induced barriers and healthy boundaries is crucial. The former is a response to past hurts and disappointments, while the latter is an intentional framework that fosters positive relationships and personal development. It's essential to peel back the layers of protection and understand that healthy boundaries aren't about keeping everyone out, but about allowing the right people in.

Let's acknowledge the fact that the trauma-induced layers of protections we've packed on after years of being disappointed and let down do actually provide some sense of safety. It's also important to acknowledge that we have all relaxed or release our boundaries altogether for people who did not deserve to be close to us and that not only gave us a mistrust of people but of ourselves to determine who was worthy of us.

Forgive yourself for the part you played in the pain. Even if it is just allowing the wrong person to benefit from the best parts of you. Forgive the person who made you feel like you needed to hide behind walls in order to survive. They were wrong. They probably lived their lives in this way...but you aren't the product of their experiences. You are a product of your own, and that was just one experience, and you get to be intentional about the rest. So, forgive yourself, forgive those who hurt you, and then figure out what the version of you that is not hurting and scared, needs to grow and be happy.

We deserve relationships that honor our needs and aspirations. These demands extend beyond personal relationships and include professional connections as well. The goal is to create spaces where our boundaries are acknowledged, respected, and upheld and we are not expected to "tough it out", be strong, and go to war for change. While we are capable, we are tired of living lives of survival. So, together and independently, we set unforgiving boundaries that require safe places, thoughtfulness, emotional intelligence, understanding, and genuine love as we embrace a new era of intentional living.

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